‘They had an hour to save my sister:’ Family of murder victim upset with RCMP

Roxanne Aubichon’s mother called the RCMP early last Monday afternoon to report her daughter, Charlene Graham, was missing and presumed taken by her estranged husband.

Later that afternoon, Graham was dead.

“Meadow Lake is so small, the RCMP station is right there, you can drive around Meadow Lake 50 times in an hour,” Aubichon said. “They had an hour to save my sister.”

Aubichon is the eldest of the three sisters — Graham was the youngest — and described Graham as always helpful, kind and very sincere.

Graham loved to travel, loved her kids, and was a go-getter, according to her sister. She had a heart for children, which was the reason she chose to become a teacher, and was “just a good-hearted soul.”

“My sister, she was good at handling problems … She’d always try to be the level-headed one to find ways to solve it rather than getting upset,” Aubichon explained. “My sister was strong.

“I guess (her husband Delane Graham) was kind of the opposite. They just clashed there, and then he was cheating on her and being disrespectful to her, and then he started mentally (and) physically abusing her.”

According to Aubichon, Charlene disappeared from the school she worked at in the early afternoon on Monday, leaving behind her vehicle, purse and other belongings.

“My sister would not leave her truck at work and she would not leave her workplace in the middle of the day, and she’s a teacher …,” Aubichon said. “She would not leave her purse and everything else behind and then just go disappear.”

It was after her family realized Graham was missing that Aubichon’s mother put in the call to police to request a wellness check on Graham at the Lion’s Park campground in Meadow Lake. Aubichon said it was known in her family that Delane was staying there.

“There’s no way she would be anywhere else because she was so controlled by him all these years and we all know that,” Aubichon said. “That’s why we knew where she was right away. That’s why we knew (when) she went missing where she would go (and) who would take her, because no one else would ever want to hurt my sister.”

Graham’s other sister, Della, went to check the campground to see if Graham was there herself.

“She experienced and she (saw) everything. She watched our sister pass away before her eyes,” Aubichon said. “She’s so traumatized and we all are, but it’s so especially hard on her because she wasn’t able to save her and she just keeps (reliving) it and we keep telling her that she tried her best.”

A media release from Meadow Lake RCMP on Aug. 30 indicated Graham, 34, was found dead at the campground outside the camper in which her estranged husband’s body was found. It has been reported that Delane shot Graham before going inside the trailer to die by suicide.

Aubichon said her family is frustrated and disappointed with the RCMP’s response to the situation.

Delane and Charlene Graham. (Charlene Graham/Facebook)

“My sister wouldn’t have had to go through that if they would’ve just listened to my mom,” she said. “My mom phoned them an hour before this whole incident and said that she believed that Delane took Charlene and that she was being held against her will, which she was.

“If the police just showed up and listened to my mom … they could have saved her. They have weapons; my sister doesn’t have anything. She was just going there to see if my little sister was there.”

Even before the campground, Aubichon said Graham had called police asking for help the week before because Delane had been coming to her home and trying to contact her. Police reportedly informed Graham she would have to press charges for them to intercede, despite Delane having been gone from the home for more than a month.

“It’s just so sad because there’s no protection. Like, how can (victims of domestic abuse) get out if the police can’t even help them? Who can they turn to?” Aubichon said.

“He took her away from us and took her away from his kids. He was so selfish, he didn’t even think about his children and how they would grow up with no parents. That’s the most heartbreaking part. And when you love somebody, don’t you want the best for them instead of hurting them? I just don’t get how he could say he loved my sister for 15-plus years and still hurt her like that.”

More than 15 years together

Graham met Delane after her high school graduation and Aubichon said they were in love from the beginning. The two got married and had two kids.

Then problems started to arise.

“We wouldn’t see her for long periods of time,” Aubichon said.

Having escaped an abusive relationship herself, Graham’s sister believed Delane was the reason behind their limited interactions.

“We just finally got her back within the last year where she moved home,” said Aubichon, noting Graham moved home from a teaching position after their parents got sick with COVID-19 and cancer last year.

“Our family had to pull together for our parents and be strong for them to help them get through all of this and we did. We became closer in the last year and now she’s gone.”

Though their family knew Graham’s marriage wasn’t entirely happy, Aubichon said her sister’s death was unexpected, even though Delane had been acting differently in the week leading up to Aug. 30.

Delane Graham, 34, was a teacher from Thunderchild First Nation. (Delane Graham/Facebook)

“We didn’t expect him to go this far,” she said. “We knew he was not right in the head because of the drugs he was on and the messages he was leaving my mom and other sisters and how he was acting and portraying himself …

“She left him a month ago and he couldn’t stand the fact that she just got fed up with him and all of the stuff that he’s been doing to her all these years.”

As the big sister, Aubichon said she took it upon herself to try and help her sister whenever possible.

“I would go and rescue her. I would go and pick her up no matter where she lived, no matter if it was the middle of the night. No matter what, I was always there. I would always go get her,” she explained.

“She would always call me and that’s why I don’t understand why she didn’t ask me for this help to leave. But she thought she could do it on her own.”

When it came to leaving her marriage, Graham didn’t ask for help from her sister, something Aubichon says will always bother her.

“She didn’t have to do it alone, she didn’t have to try and leave alone and do it by herself,” Aubichon said. “Throughout all these years, my sister started to distance herself away from us … because she was probably embarrassed. She was probably trying to help him because she cared about him so much and she couldn’t.”

“Nothing to be ashamed of”

Aubichon wants women to know they don’t have to go it alone when escaping an abusive relationship.

“Do you know how (many) women think there’s no one for them and they’re embarrassed? … They don’t want to get anybody else in trouble, they don’t want to get their family hurt, they’re scared, they’re afraid and they just have nowhere to go, nowhere to reach out. I would love for that to be fixed,” she stated.

“I want people to be aware. I want ladies to know that you can have your whole life together, you can portray it on social media that your life is perfect and that you want to be loved and you want to be cared for. But if you’re getting abused, and stuff like this is happening behind closed doors and you think you’re ashamed because this stuff is happening to you, you don’t want to bring it out to your family and friends …

“Do it. There’s nothing to be ashamed of because it’s not you doing the hurting.”

Domestic violence is an issue Aubichon said needs to be addressed and worked on collaboratively to find a true solution over merely following procedures.

RCMP concerns

Aubichon wants the world to know Delane Graham was not a victim.

“He’s not a victim at all. He is not,” she said. “He planned this because he went to that school and he took my sister and he had weapons. He didn’t just fall upon weapons; he didn’t just come across them. He had a knife and he had a gun there and he had bullets for it, so no, he is not a victim.”

She wants to know why the RCMP were not there to prevent her sister’s death last Monday.

“She would still be here if they took it seriously,” Aubichon said. “I’m sure if Delane (had) seen the police coming, I don’t think he would have jumped on my sister and started stabbing her.

“Why not believe the mother? Why would she waste her time phoning the police to lie about something like that? … Why don’t they take stuff like that seriously? … Was she just another native girl? Is my mom just another native that phoned in and that we’re not important enough? Even the campground and the people who didn’t help, is it because my sisters are both native?”

Aubichon also said Delane should have been named by the RCMP in the media release announcing her sister’s death.

“There were witnesses. (Della) was a witness. She got stabbed in the process of trying to save my other sister,” Aubichon said. “My cousin was there, there were other campers around while my sister was yelling for help, and nobody would help her. So I am so disappointed in them. How can (the Mounties) not (name Delane) but they can name the victims?

“What if that was their daughter? What if that was their sister? Why do they not think like that?”

A GoFundMe page has been set up to support Charlene’s children.